This is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance (and for this we labor and strive), that we have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all men, and especially of those who believe. Command and teach these things. Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity. Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to preaching and to teaching. Do not neglect your gift, which was given you through a prophetic message when the body of elders laid their hands on you. Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress. Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers.

I know every age must have said it, but it is a scary thing to raise teenagers today. I am aware that there is nothing new under the sun, and that depravity is depravity no matter how old we are. Nevertheless, in our world today, sin seems to be so much more accessible to our students. The internet, cable television, cell phones, and the like are great tools, but they also afford great temptations.

With all these challenges, the tendency is to want to parent our students from a strictly defensive posture. I call this "Fear-Based Parenting." It's as though the best we can hope for from our students is that they steer clear of the "teenage sins" (or at least mask those sins) until we get them off to college. At its worst, Fear-Based Parenting can be a "throwing in the towel" and an acceptance that our teen is going to rebel and just make it through these tough years until they "crash" or until they "settle down" and start thinking about marriage "sometime later." The problem is, in my experience, this approach has not proven very effective. As a matter of fact, it can produce just the opposite of what we desire. Students who have grown up with the "fear-based" model can pick-up that faith in Jesus Christ may or may not work. Others may become exasperated by so many rules and restrictions, while still others may question whether Christianity is simply a product of their home environment, and not the Absolute Truth that changes the world.

The passage above was given to Timothy, a young man in the faith (see verse 12). Notice that in Paul's instruction to Timothy, Paul assumes a Heavenward progression (v. 15, "...so that everyone may see your progress.") Paul warns that there will be things he must watch closely, namely his life and his doctrine, which admittedly is everything, but Paul seems to expect that Timothy will do just that. He furthermore exhorts Timothy to "set an example for all the believers" by the way he lives his life. I'm sure there were just as many (if not more) distractions in Timothy's life as there are in the lives of our students today. I'm also sure Paul knew of Timothy's sinfulness. Nevertheless, Paul trusted that the Gospel given to Timothy (which they were striving for) was enough to preserve them both through any trial. In previous articles, I have asked the question about our expectations for our teens. I think this topic falls in the same category.

If our teens belong to the Lord, we must constantly remind them of that fact. We must teach them who they are in Christ and then encourage them to "only live up to what they have already attained." (Phil. 3:16) We must equip them and encourage them that they are to be the ones who influence the world and NOT the other way around. We must remind them that they are Royal Ambassadors (2 Cor. 5:20), free from the power of sin-in other words, unlike the world, they can say "no" to sin (Romans 6:15-18), and blessed with every spiritual blessing in Christ (Eph. 1:3). In short, we must teach our students that "From the days of John the Baptist until now, the kingdom of heaven has been forcefully advancing, and forceful men lay hold of it." (Matthew 11:12)

There will still be many challenges raising teenagers in the world today, but a shift from a defensive parenting model (low expectations, focus on external compliance only) to an offensive parenting model (exhorting to live up to Christ's example internally and externally, high expectations) can also shift the perspective of our teens to see themselves as vessels through which God can change the world rather than someone who can only hope to escape the world "as through the flames." We want our teens to see themselves as students who set the example for all believers in life, in love, In faith and in purity, and students who seek daily to "only live up...." May God keep us from parenting out of fear, and fix our eyes (and the eyes of our kids) firmly on Him. As parents, let us seek to engage their hearts and teach them that with Christ as Lord of their lives and the power that raised Jesus from the dead, they will be on the "offensive" when they encounter the onslaught of this fallen world. Keep pressing on and be encouraged that God will keep the following promise for you and for your children:

May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you (and your teen) through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful and He will do it. -1 Thess. 5:23- 24