One day we all will stand before God. It is an awesome thought, but a true one. We will stand before God and He will evaluate our entire lives. How does that thought make us feel? Are we nervous? Are we uneasy? Ambivalent? Confident? 

When I die, will I go to heaven? Do I know for certain that I will, or do I merely hope so? Do I anticipate death with faith, or with fear? With confidence or with dread? With peace or with terror? Do I know that my sins are forgiven? Do I know that I am saved from the wrath to come? Many, many are uncertain. Here’s how to be sure: believe the promises of God in Christ. John 3:16 is as clear an example as there is. “Whosoever believeth in Him (Christ), should not perish, but have everlasting life.” Am I a “whosoever?” Do I believe? Then I have eternal life. Why doubt it? 

Regrettably, for most of us it is not quite that easy. It is obvious from our text today that it never has been quite that easy. Christian people have been struggling with assurance since the days of the Apostles, and that is why this section of the epistle was written. They struggle with assurance because there is a devil who accuses them, a world that mocks them and undermines their confidence, and a conscience that looks at the fruit, or lack thereof, and doubts the reality of their own claim of faith. Hamilton calls lack of assurance “a crippling spiritual sickness.”¹ Given that faith in Christ is the fundamental basis or ground of assurance, how may we reassure our hearts which nonetheless doubt that we are saved? 

Let me speak from personal experience. I never have doubted the veracity of the Bible and its message. I always have believed that the Bible is true. I always have believed that Jesus Christ is the Savior of the world, that I am a sinner, and that, by faith in Him, I might be saved. None of these truths ever have caused me a moment’s doubt. What I have doubted is whether or not I genuinely believe it, or if I am self-deceived, or a hypocrite. Am I a true believer? Or am I a fraud? I wrested with this question from the time I was a young boy and into my first year in seminary. I can remember at the age of ten asking a friend who was “spending the night,” as we called it, if he “believed in Jesus.” I was concerned that he might be headed for hell. Yet a few years later I walked into my pastor’s office in tears, afraid that I myself might be lost. 

What can we do for one who finds himself plagued with these kinds of doubts? The Apostle John’s answer is to build confidence on the basis of fruit, of, specifically, the evidence of “love in action.”² The Apostle has been providing us with the signs (moral, social, doctrinal) of true Christianity primarily so that his people might be able to distinguish false prophets from God’s prophets, the genuine Christianity from counterfeits. Now he applies the second of these signs, the social, more closely to the individual conscience. Those who are born of God love. A child of God will be characterized by love. Love is not the foundation of our faith, but merely “an accessory or inferior aid, a prop to our faith,” as Calvin says. Yet, he continues, “there can be no genuine assurance before God unless His Spirit produces in us the fruit of love.”³ Where there is divine love, one has a sure sign that a person is born of God, and a basis for an assured, stable, confident, certain relationship with God. 

Assurance

We shall know by this that we are of the truth, and shall assure our heart before Him, (1 Jn 3:19) 

The Apostle John says we “know” that “we are of the truth,” i.e. of the true religion, “by this.” By what? By what he had just said in the preceding verse.⁴ By loving in “deed and truth” (3:18). Acts of sacrificial love reassure us that we are genuine. Those born of God love (3:10-18). “We know that we have passed out of death into life,” the Apostle said earlier, “because we love the brethren” (3:14). On the other hand, the absence of love is a fool-proof sign that one is not born of God. The child of the devil is “obvious” because he “does not love his brother” (3:10). “He who does not love abides in death” (3:14).  

Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer; and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him. (1 Jn 3:15) 

Failure to share the “world’s goods” raises the question, “how does the love of God abide in him,” and the implied answer is, it doesn’t (3:17)! He will say later, “everyone who loves is born of God and knows God” (4:7). His basic conviction is that sacrificial love comes from God and is manifested in all who are born of God and only in them. 

Because this is invariably true, that one born of God loves, and one not born of God does not love, we may “assure,” or “convince,” or “persuade,” or “set our hearts at rest” (NIV), we may salve our consciences on the basis of love’s presence or absence. Put it this way. If God promised us that it would rain during the night, and we fell asleep and didn’t wait up until morning, but upon rising, immediately went out and saw that the streets were wet, could we thereby infer that it had rained? Of course, we should believe the promise of God, and, therefore, not need to check the pavement. Yet, it would be reassuring to see the wet streets. We could infer from the water that it had rained, and that God kept His word. 

The same kind of inference can be drawn regarding the promise of salvation. By nature we are of the devil and filled with hate. When we are born of God, love is planted into our hearts (cf. 3:9). The Apostle Paul says that “the love of God has been poured out” or “shed abroad” (KJV), “within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us” (Rom 5:5). Loving, sacrificial acts are possible thereafter, whereas, before they were not. As I look at my life, I might see that there is genuine love, that “deed and truth” love, is present. It isn’t perfect, but it is there, whereas at one time it wasn’t. Before I was completely self-absorbed. I only looked out for myself. I was only interested in people insofar as they could serve my needs. I was utterly selfish. All my own energies were channeled into my own self-centered agenda. Now, however, I love, not perfectly, but truly. How did it get there? Only God could have put this love in my heart because love comes from Him. Consequently, I may deduce, it must be that I truly am born of God. His “seed” is within me. I may “assure” or “reassure” (ESV) my heart. I do so “before Him,” in His presence and because of the verdict of His word concerning me. The Apostle continues: 

in whatever our heart condemns us; for God is greater than our heart, and knows all things. (1 Jn 3:20) 

At times our heart “condemns” us. Tender consciences may find it reassuring to hear John Stott say, “it may not be either an unusual or infrequent experience for the Christian’s serene assurance to be disturbed.”⁵ It was not unusual in the first century, and it is not unusual today. “Heart” can be understood as conscience. We look at our Christian lives, and see what miserable excuses for Christians we sometimes are, and we tell ourselves we are hypocrites. We are not real at all. We fall. We fail. We are selfish, and filled with pride, and consumed with passion and anger. We indulge our lusts and idols. Our heart tells us we are counterfeits. At such times we are to recall the promises of God and then discern what the Puritans called the “signs of grace,” of which love is perhaps the crucial example. Do I believe? Yes. Is love present? If so, I may “assure” or “reassure” myself that I am born of God because I never could have generated sacrificial love on my own. I’ve been changed. I’ve been transformed. “Love is the final objective test of our Christian profession, for true love, in the sense of self-sacrifice, is not natural to man in his fallen state,” says Stott. “Its existence in any man is evidence of new birth and of the indwelling Spirit (3:24; 4:12,13) and shows itself ‘in deed.’”⁶ 

The Apostle says, “God is greater.” He is greater “than our heart(s).” Final judgment is entrusted to Him, not our fallible consciences. He knows “all things.” God, no less, promises salvation to those who believe in Christ Jesus. God, no less, says that those who love are born of God. His word trumps our hearts. His promise overcomes our doubts. His verdict overrules our consciences. “The accusation of conscience must always be treated seriously,” Bruce insists. Investigate its accusation. Search for wrongdoing. Don’t ignore it, and certainly don’t sear it. But when it falsely accuses? Bruce continues: “only when it is overruled by the pardoning edict of God can its voice be properly hushed.”⁷ God is greater! 
 

Do I believe in Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord? Trust the promises of God (e.g. Jn 3:16; 14:6). Do I trust the promises yet doubt my salvation because I suspect that my faith is counterfeit? Then I may point to the presence of divine love for reassurance. Is “love in action” present? Do I desire to help others? Do I have compassion on those in need? If so, we may “assure,” or “reassure and pacify, our heart’s misgivings” and know that we are “of the truth.” ⁸ It is not that we are assured by our works. Rather, we are reassured by God’s work in us of which love is but a sign.  

Confidence

The Apostle John broadens our perspective a bit by considering the nature, or even the tone and tenor of our relationship with God. What is to characterize it? The norm, he says, is “confidence.” We have peace with God through Jesus (Rom 5:1; Phil 4:6,7). There is no condemnation (Rom 8:1). Consequently, our relationship with God should be characterized by stability, security, and confidence.  

Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before God; (1 Jn 3:21) 

Confidence is important in life. Students want to have confidence as they are summonsed to the headmaster’s office. Athletes want to have confidence as they walk onto the athletic field. Fear, timidity, hesitancy are crippling for test-takers and athletes, for speech-makers and leaders, and especially before God. If there is one place where we should want confidence it is in our relationship to God. Yet it is difficult to attain. “Confidence” was used in 2:28, and as we saw then, it originally was used of a democratic citizen’s right to free speech. It carries the sense of boldness and freedom in the presence of another. Hamilton describes it as “the unaffected confidence and boldness of a little child with his father.”⁹ This is the relationship with God that we are to have. We are to approach God with “confidence,” even “boldness,” as the KJV translates the word (parrēsia) in Hebrews 4:16 and 10:19. 

Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need. (Heb 4:16 KJV) 

Our relationship with God should be open, free, secure, not timid and fearful. The Apostle John’s area of application is that of prayer. It can serve as his case study in confidence because we pray as we live.  

and whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do the things that are pleasing in His sight. (1 Jn 3:22) 

How are we to pray? We pray as we live. Confidently. We’re not fearful or timid in our prayers. We believe and trust God. We cling to His promises. This is how we live, so this is how we pray. “We draw near with confidence to the throne of grace” (Heb 4:16). Faith believes the promise of salvation and the presence of love reassures us. Therefore we pray with confidence that God hears our prayers. “Whatever we ask we receive from Him.” This promise is meant to inspire faith. We get what we ask for, he says. “Whatever.” Go, then, confidently, to the throne of grace for help. It remains true that “we have not because we ask not” (Jas 4:2). Do we believe in prayer? “Ask, and it shall be given to you,” Jesus said (Mt 7:7). “Success” in prayer is founded upon confidence in God’s love and care for us, and our free access to His throne. The writer to the Hebrews says, 

. . . for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him. (Heb 11:6b) 

Faith is essential. We “must believe . . . that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.” Confidence in the goodness of God is crucial. Sure there are conditions. John will say two chapters later, 

And this is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests which we have asked from Him. (1 Jn 5:14,15) 

There’s our word “confidence” again. Is the “whatever” of our verse or the “anything” of the verse above absolute? No, of course not. The “anything” we ask for is conditioned by “His will.” We pray “according to His will.” This is just to repeat what Jesus said in other words, 

If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it shall be done for you. (Jn 15:7; cf. Jn 14:13,14; 15:16; 16:23,24) 

The “whatever” of Jesus’ promise is that we “abide in (Him)” and “(His) words abide in (us).” Jesus does not throw us a blank check. We must pray in Jesus’ name, and in a way consistent with the will of God. Jesus’ prayer in Gethsemane is our example. “Not my will but Thy will be done.” So there are qualifications. The Apostle John tells us we receive “because we keep His commandments and do the things that are pleasing in His sight.” We must believe and be obedient. But this doesn’t take away from our privileges in prayer. If we are abiding in Christ, trusting Him, and keeping His commandments and doing “the things that are pleasing in His sight,” we will want what He wants. Answers to prayer occur in the context of faithfulness. Otherwise, prayer becomes a mechanical thing rather than a relational thing. It is not that we ask and receive regardless of our relationship to Christ. That would make prayer into magic. It would reduce prayer to superstitious formulas, which, when chanted, bring the desired results. The Apostle John says we receive from Him “because we keep His commandments and do the things that are pleasing,” not because answers to prayer are rewards for obedience, or because we merit answers, but because a faithful walk with Christ is the context in which we pray properly and in which God is disposed to grant our requests. If these sound like unreasonable conditions, consider the opposite. I expect my prayer to be answered though I defy God’s commandments and could care less about pleasing Him? The idea is absurd. John Stott states it well in saying, “Obedience is the indispensable condition, not the meritorious cause of answered prayer.”¹⁰ 

Both “keep” and “do” are in continuous tenses. “Power in prayer does not come from occasional bursts of obedience,” says Morris, “but from lives of habitual obedience.”¹¹ Perhaps our human fathers provide an analogy. When a son asks his father for something, what he gives is not, normally, a reward for obedience. Fathers give to their sons because they love them. But if a son if being rebellious, defiant, and is asking from selfish or evil motives, a father is inclined not to grant the request. The relationship is crucial.  

Again, we pray as we live. Jesus said, “I always do the things that are pleasing to Him” (Jn 8:29). The Apostle Paul calls it our “ambition,” that is, “whether at home or absent, to be pleasing to Him” (2 Cor 5:9; cf. Eph 5:10; Phil 4:18; Col 1:10, 3:20; 1 Thess 4:1; Heb 13:21). This is what every child, with very rare exceptions, wants. Even in the midst of profound rebellion, a child wants to please his parent. Pleasing our Father in heaven is our ambition as Christians. We want, more than anything in all the world, to please God. This is why we should keep the Ten Commandments. We obey God’s law because it is our duty, because we are obligated to keep it, and even because He threatens us with punishment if we don’t. These are all valid motives. But they are not the highest motives. The highest motive is simply to please our Father in heaven. 

Given that this is the kind of relationship that we have with God, we are confident, and when we ask, we can be sure that we shall receive. I believe that very few sincere Christians can say that they have earnestly prayed and not had the prayer granted. The answer is not always in the form requested, but it still comes. I’ve said many times, I am hard-pressed to find a single thing in all my life that God has withheld from me. Sometimes the desired thing came later than I had wanted. God’s timing is often different from ours. Sometimes the answer brought what was better than what I had requested. I can remember being a lonely seminary student longing for a life companion. God answered those prayers for a wife, but in His own timing, and better than I had in mind. In Christ God “freely gives us all things” (Rom 8:32). “No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly” (Ps 84:11). 

Why then should we be confident before God, especially in prayer? Because we can see the signs of His work in our lives, and, therefore, are reassured that we are His children, and therefore He hears us as a Father. Pray, then, to your Father in full confidence that “whatever we ask we receive from Him.” Prayer also is to be a means to that end. We should be receiving answers, we should see His response. This, too, is reassuring and builds confidence. “Answered prayer inevitably increases our confidence.”¹² 

Confirmation

The Apostle John summarizes his point thus far. We can pause and catch our breath: 

And this is His commandment, that we believe in the name of His Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, just as He commanded us. (1 Jn 3:23) 

The fundamental commandment is the command (singular) to believe and love, seen as one. This verse summarizes all that God requires of us. The many commandments may be boiled down to one “commandment:” believe in the name of Jesus Christ, and love one another. Believing “in the name” implies believing in all that Jesus is, Son of God, Messiah, Lord. This is the fundamental requirement. Jesus said, 

"This is the work of God, that you believe in Him whom He has sent." (Jn 6:29) 

Notice that belief is commanded and it can be viewed as a matter of obedience and even “work.” The Apostle Paul speaks of “the obedience of faith” (Rom 1:5; cf. Rom 15:18; 16:26), the Apostle Peter of judgment upon “those who do not obey the gospel of God” (1 Pet 4:17; cf. Heb 5:9), and of God giving the Holy Spirit “to those who obey Him” (Act 5:32; cf. 6:7). 

Similarly, “love one another” is a command. It is the command which summarizes all the other commands. We are obliged to believe God and love others. These are the “twin birthmarks of the Christian believer,” as Hamilton puts it.¹³ Obedience, then, is the key to abiding or remaining in Christ. 

And the one who keeps His commandments abides in Him, and He in him. And we know by this that He abides in us, by the Spirit whom He has given us. (1 Jn 3:24) 

He breaks the single commandment into “commandments” (plural) again. Those who believe and love “abide in Him” and “He in him.” “Obedience to the Lord’s commandments is not the cause but the proof of His people’s dwelling in Him,” says Bruce.¹⁴ If we keep the commandments, then we abide, or “remain” in Christ, and He remains in us. Only in the context of obedience is a true relationship with Christ maintained. 

Perhaps someone is saying, “I don’t believe in all this ‘signs of grace’ business. I simply believe in ‘the inward testimony of the Holy Spirit,’” as a basis upon which Christians experience assurance. I know for sure that I am a child of God because, 

The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, (Rom 8:16) 

There is a sense, perhaps subjective, perhaps hard to define, that the Holy Spirit brings to the children of God, whereby they become certain of their status in the family of God. How do they know? The Holy Spirit bears witness. I believe that it is to this that the Apostle John brings us as he closes this section: And we know by this that He abides in us, by the Spirit whom He has given us. (1 Jn 3:24b) 

The Holy Spirit confirms that we are His, that “He abides in us,” or that we are indwelt by Him. Again, how does the Holy Spirit do this? The context leads us to conclude that it is through the external evidence. The Holy Spirit does not give us assurance in a vacuum. He takes the evidence of faith and love and opens our eyes so that we can see clearly our identity as God’s children.  

This is how it works then. Do we believe? Yes, we do. Do we love? Yes, we do. There are times when we doubt. There are times when we are selfish and unloving. But, basically, these things have become characteristic. We do believe and we do love, imperfectly, but truly. The Holy Spirit takes these facts, and reminds us of them, and reassures us on the basis of them. It may be that He does this at a subconscious level. But He shows us the evidence of God’s Fatherly work in us, and thereby confirms in our hearts that we belong to Him. 

Do we love? Is our love a working love, love in action? Then we may be assured. Let’s say we aren’t sure. Then we must examine ourselves. Love is commanded. God is not asking us to feel a certain way. He is requiring of us that we have compassion on others and lay down our lives for them. Do we do this for our spouse? Or is it all “for me”? Do we do this for our children? Or do we have no time for them? Do we do this for the brethren? Or are we too busy, too involved elsewhere and uninvolved here, ignorant of what the needs are and, frankly, unconcerned? If love is not evident in these primary relationships, then we probably will not have certainty and confidence in our standing with God. We probably will never be sure about the one thing above all else about which we should be sure, that is, our eternal destiny. 

However, if love is present, if there is compassion for my spouse and children, and sacrifice on their behalf; if there is compassion for the brethren and costly sacrifice on their behalf, then the Holy Spirit will take that and apply it to my heart and work assurance, work confidence, and give me certainty, and even boldness, before God. This is the key that then unlocks “success” in prayer. When we have the assurance of salvation, we can then pray with the confidence of a child to a loving Father, and He will hear, He will respond. Is this what I want? It is there for the taking. Silver and gold will not buy it. It comes only by believing in Christ for salvation, and then by the reality of that faith being confirmed by an obedient, loving walk.